“Because everyone I love is a Thief”
Perhaps it not true, but it’s a hell of an interesting statement. And at times it’s something I feel an almost guilty tinge of belief in.So many people will take relentlessly whatever you give them, without a thought about any self sacrifice you may be making for it or them.True enough if you give and are doing it purely to receive, your being a self centred asshole. But then I guess this could all come back to that episode of “friends” where Joey tells phoebe there’s no such thing as a selfless good deed, and she spends the rest of the episode (series?...the script writers got a little lazy after the first few series…) trying to prove him wrong.

Ah. Nostalgic popular culture, how it warms the soul.

I’m not sure if phoebe did ever succeed. Perhaps some of the “friends” lovers out there can tell me? So I can try and resolve my inner turmoil, or at least get on with writing something constructive.

Anyway about that thieving…some people just seem relentless at it, actually its not some people it’s the whole WORLD, this planet just seems to absorb anything you can throw at it (metaphorically anyway, polystyrenes are still proving a bitch for mother earth).I suppose rather then this “planet” I would be more correct it saying “life”. it sucks you dry sometimes.In my experience of it the worst are those people you really think matter though,The ones, who for whatever reason return the favour, and give some of “it” back.Whatever “it” is; a present, chocolate, free drink, self security, or just enough purpose to get out of bed in the mornings. Trust is a requisite part of all this and the trust part is the real bitch.

So many people drift in and out of your life, relatively few of those I could honestly say are deserving of trust. But whether the people I myself, have chosen over time to confide in are the right ones or not, is the key piece that constantly seems to shrink or grow according to the puzzle. Its only when you really get it wrong you find out about it. I’ve been pretty lucky so far but, to my own detriment I keep going back to certain black spots to be proven wrong in my judgements again and again.

Some people have a strange ability to make you feel at ease with them, sometimes because of similar opinions or mind sets, or because you get their sense of humour.From time to time you find somebody who really seems to be on a level which you can appreciate and find some comfort in. otherwise someone who just seem to be almost as lost in their own head as you are in yours, and the sense of unity that can bring, just seems to make you as a person make more sense. Speaking for myself now, that feeling can give you a lot a sense of belonging that you’re not the only one who worries about the shit you do. That attachment can be sorely placed though, because when it’s detached again it hurts.

Much like that episode of friends I guess it comes back to a cliché that’s just enough of a pain in the ass to be true; you get hurt the most by the ones your closest too.

You get what you want and you’re sorry you even had breath to ask for it.King author in shining silver armour turned out to be the shit-eating, fire breathing dragon.

But you keep trying because there’s got to be SOMEBODY worthwhile out there right? Who feels the same way about all this as you do? or... sometimes it just feels better to give in.